Clidus

His sideburns curl like the weeds attached to an unattained fence, but barren is the desert on his face. A supernova occurs as his fro grows further out into space. He wears his Boston Celtics jersey everyday with his orange head band to encompass his brown supernova. He lacks yet two inches from being six feet tall. Feeling a bit underachieved in his height as to his friends, he constantly alerts people he is not as vertically challenged as they are. He burns gasoline in a Chevy K5 Blazer painted Mountain Dew green. He always has his emergency Dew in his back pocket at all times. He idolizes the Pixies and knows U-Mass to be the greatest song ever. His friends consistently make fun of how white he is, even though they are all white too. His best friend is Shneekers.